MJJlove4EVER's Page

It has been only one day since Michael's passing, but to me it feels like a century. I don't believe there are any words to describe my reaction to the news. I had been doing laundry in my bedroom when I received a phone call that could change my life forever. I am not a frequent news watcher, so I did not have the TV on. My Advocate who has been representing me since I was three years old for educational need reasons, called me and explained the devastating news. I denied it at first, saying under my breath "no, no, not him". She warned me that it was true and told me to put on channel five, which I did. I saw the ambulences, the security, and fans gathering outside of UCLA Medical Center and that is when my heart dropped. I began to cry, and each tear felt like blood. It struck me faster then the speed of light. I wished myself to be nowhere else then at Michael's bed side, holding his hand & praying that God would realize it was NOT his time.

I eagerly tuned into various stations, awaiting the truth. My mind could not process this, my hands were trembling, as were my legs and body. My phone rang off the hook, fans swarmed me with calls to exchange information about this news based upon where we lived to quickly arrive at the destination of truth. We didn't know what to believe, one station had already pronounced him dead, the other said he was in a coma, and another said he was simply "hospitalized". Finally, all news stations here in New York simultaneously broadcasted the news that Fox five had originally put out "Michael Jackson has passed away". This piece of news matched all of the other news stations that my fan friends had mentioned earlier. There it lyed, in white bold print, that was the moment in which I realized that Michael had been taken too soon. I sobbed, banged the walls, asking God why he had to do this to Michael? My father tried to calm me down, in the process of my reaction and emotions being released. The phones still continued to ring, and each time I answered it was another fan, offering their condolences and sharing their feelings. Michael's fans had realized that we had lost our idol, our legend, our beloved angel. Tragedy had struck the Michael Jackson "fan family".

I didn't sleep all night, my eyes were glued to the pictures of him in my bedroom, or the CNN broadcasting of his rememberance. I gripped onto my MJ pillow, and said a prayer. I hoped he would hear me. I said "please just give me a sign that you are safe up there"....A few hours later, I heard the song of a beautiful bird outside my house. I have many birds that come and sing here, but this bird was unique, something very different about it. It's melody sounded something of Michael's "Gone Too Soon" song. I listened closely, and walked over to the window. The bird looked directly at me, and kept on singing. I knew this was Michael. He was trying to tell me that he was okay. I smiled, and listened in awe to the bird. I even watched him fly away into the misty sun rise.

I now realize the beauty of life, because of that one event. Even though I am still mourning Michael's death, Michael sent me a message. He told me that he would rather I celebrate his life, as apposed to mourning it. I believe that is what he wanted his fans to do in the first place.

So Michael, if you can hear my mind writing this, please know I love you infinitely, and you will always have a special place in my heart. Nobody can ever replace the joy you gave me, and the music you gave to the world. I always said I could not imagine a world without Michael in it, that it is not a place I would want to be in... I know Ioved him well in the best and worst of times im my life and his. There are not enough words to explain such huge loss. I am still in shock. He gave so much to world and got so little back, apart from us his fans who loved him as much as he loved us. Everything about him is legend.



Thank you Michael Jackson for sharing you're light with me.
I will always be your loyal fan.
"You never said goodbye, someone tell me why did you have to go and leave my world so cold..."
You will always be in my heart.

Outside the sky is thundering, I hope it is everywhere, as the heavens open to receive their latest angel. The legendary Michael Jackson. May the angels greet and enfold you in loving wings and take you finally to rest in peace. I hope now you receive the love and respect you always deserved and was denied by a world that misunderstood you. You gave so much and only wanted one thing...to be loved and be remembered for who you are and the magic you created. You bought so much joy to the world and touched so many lives. There will never be another like you. Your music, your legacy will live forever, you will never be surpassed.
We needed him more.

As you said Michael, "If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with." You have helped me deal with this....

I love you forever, and shine on....because you are the true king.

~Valerie


Additionally, I would like to thank all of those who reached out to me upon Michael's death, anybody who knows me well knows how much I loved that man. So, thank you, as you have guided me through this very difficult time as well.